Graveney Cricket Club

Past Champagne Moments

 Farcical dismissal, run out in no man's land, after being dropped by the bowler.

Bowling to son Craig first ball caught in the covers

Attempting to stop a four using his feet, Tim kicked the ball along the rope and then over it. 

Having bombarded the opposition all afternoon with commentary and advice about how good he was, KC dropped an absolute dolly, much to the amusement of the opposition! Good run out too though!

Barry and Paul failing even to run one in the erroneous belief that the ball had gone for four, nearly resulting in a run-out.

On his debut, smashing his first ball for the club for a huge straight 6.

Bowling when the square leg umpire was hurrying to don his coat somewhere in the vicinity of third man

Comical running and calling that led to him and partner Tim Eveleigh going in the same direction at one point. They somehow managed to scramble three runs when four or five would have been possible.

At Whyteleafe for attempting to organise photo opportunities whilst his team were batting, much to the annoyance and bemusement of the opposition... and taking a catch with his first touch on entering the field.

At Woldingham a batsman skied a wayward Vibert delivery towards Fanning at extra cover. The ball went very high and was dropping over Paul’s shoulder. His team mates (oh ye of little faith) were expecting a miss, but little did they realise that he had positioned himself perfectly and, with a superbly-timed dive, pouched it.

I'm not voting for f***ing anything, What's the point, It's best if we pretend this game (Leigh) never happened!

(our guest 11th man)! Firstly for the moment he appeared in the pub doorway and we all looked at each other with the same thought in our head! Alternatively, Chris asking who had won after the game!

Mick surprised everyone with a diving parry as a firmly struck drive was heading for the boundary down the notorious slope at Oakwood Hill. The ball was parried intentionally to Paul Fanning who completed the return.

Chasing down a ball close to the square leg boundary Tim was attempting to prevent a third run. Scooping up the ball he attempted a quick underarm throw off balance, Unfortunately he only succeeded in throwing the ball over the boundary for a four.

...........for his cry of “Call for it!” as a ball was skied in the direction of Rob Davies, when there wasn't another fielder within 30 yards!

Dave Moody

Dave 'walked' having been convinced he was out lbw, only to return to the crease following the fact that no-one had appealed. "What planet is he on?" Puddie the opposition skipper enquired of Nick who was umpiring at the time.

John O'Driscoll

A pissed OD giving a speech in the pub afterwards and referring to the old days when Ken Day saved the club from "going into distinction"! Obviously we all know that this was a Freudian slip given that this reference related to the time when OD started playing!!!

Head butting the ball rather than catching it at slip!

Although hideously hungover after an all-day drinking session, once out on the field he ran  the length of the pitch at the end of each over to be at fine    leg and threw the ball in sharply and accurately when required.

A comicical 'dancing bear’ attempt at a boundary stop, which saw him somersault on the grass as the ball rolled to the ropes

Coming on as 6th change bowler with one over , hit for 23 runs!

Jez Skidmore

John O'Driscoll

Twice trying to bowl before the batsman was ready, then stopping in his run up once the batsman had settled.

Jay having run a single quickly, turned round and strolled back thinking the ball had gone for four. Dumbstruck to hear a cry of 'Run him out!' he questioned what was going on
whilst in the middle of the pitch. Realising that the ball had not gone for four casually jogged back only to be run out by a direct hit from 77 year old Brian Morse. Blindley Heath
being good sports did not appeal.

Ciska's ingenious plan to stop a speeding cricket ball by throwing a magazine at it.

Jez Skidmore retrieving a dog-eared ball instead of the match cherry from the outfield.

Bev McGill, having turned up with one boot, missing an easy chance, then diving over ball, and finally falling on it and lacerating his leg in the process.

Going out to bat in the three over abandoned game at Chaldon with no pads on.

When a catch was skied to Jez at point, Paul called Keepers three times, while Jez called mine 3 times. In the end Paul (the wicket keeper with gloves to help him) took the catch  while nearly knocking Jez over in the process.

Barry’s comical umpiring, calling no ball, wide, byes, leg byes - you name it, he called it - while failing to realise the ball had also gone for 4.

For falling ass-over-tit just as he was delivering a ball, getting carted to the boundary, only for James Heawood to take a great catch.

Batting for 10 overs without scoring, then getting 5 off first scoring shot having set of for suicidal single which went for overthrows!

O’D’s premature rigour-mortis trying to pick up the ball off a dropped catch by Tim Eveleigh.

Brilliant left handed catch at cover from a full blooded drive.

Making excellent ground to stop ball on the boundary, Rob juggled the ball then booted it 40 yards further round the boundary where it was eventually fielded.

Comic fielding, allowing a slow ball to nutmeg him and then getting up and falling over as he chased after it.

Jez ran for a single despite a loud no from Alistair Newman. He made his ground having completed almost two runs on his own.

Having failed to cut off a succession of boundaries, finally managed to chase down and get a boot to another attempted boundary, only to them kick it over the rope with his trailing foot!

O’D (the wicket keeper) screaming ‘Oh no’ when Rob called ‘keeper’s’ after a batsman hit the ball straight up in the air. He made amends by holding on to the chance, despite the fact that the glare from his green nose must have affected his vision.

The Stafforshire Bull Terrier became somewhat 'over-excited' and tried taking Barry Gray 'to the cleaners'.

At Blindley Heath Kevin McGill bowled 'one that stayed low' that shot through hit wicket- keeper John on his pads and bounced back, hitting the wickets. The surprised batsman was well out of his ground. Discussions followed in the bar whether this was a stumping or a run-out.

John took a stunning one handed catch diving and rolling forward. The award is for just afterwards when he appeared to be about to throw-up and a shout went up 'bring on the oxygen). 

Neal's shout whilst fielding in the slips - 'I'M WALKING IN!' (???)

Three dropped catches at Grafham one exceptionally easy at mid-on.  (Although no award is given at Newdigate for the memorial game John O'D deserves mention for two missed catches, one a complete doddle.)   

At Turners Hill, an absurd juggling act attempting a run-out combined with giving Jez out from a very dubious LBW.

John keeping wicket at Brockham Green running towards backwards square failed to glove a high leading edge. As the ball dropped from his arm he kicked it towards the boundary, fielded by Mick after a chase.

Bowling at Oakwood Hill, Kevin lost control of the ball in the delivery. It bounced six times before reaching the far end . A bemused umpire signalled it wide.

At Chaldon Bob chased a ball to the boundary and his attempted diving stop resulted in him sliding into a bush and tree. A few overs later he repeated the feat with exactly the same tree. Bob then repeated this feat again at Woldingham the following game.

Norwood have a number of quick young bowlers that will stand them in good stead for the future. One of these struck Nick with a lifting delivery that gave him a wonderful bruise that John O'D so admired it was awarded champagne moment!

When Alistair Newman pulled a muscle batting he bravely decided to carry on and after a brief delay the unlikely runner was none other than Neal Taylor who has been struggling with injury himself most of the season. Blindley Heath even suggested that he be the runner. Sanity prevailed when Jez Skidmore replaced him after Neal had completed just a single.

During the disastrous game at Oakwood Hill (42 all out) Malcolm's attempted catch at silly-mid-off. The ball bounced up and hit him on the back of the head! Malcolm complained that his head had turned all the way round afterwards. 

Tony's attempted run-out at Turners Hill standing at the stumps using his head..

A Tadworth player struck a straight ball that rocketed toward the sight screen. Tom running across appeared from nowhere and turned a certain four into one run stopping the ball with an outstretched boot.

Tony chasing a ball to the boundary at Grafham, skidded on his studs on the concrete patio outside the clubhouse careering into chairs and scattering all in his wake.

Tom was searching for the ball in the hedge next to the road at Oakwood Hill. A car drew up and the driver reported he had last seen the ball heading down the road toward the A24!

John bowling his first over at Chaldon took a wicket with his third ball, removing the Chaldon opener for 54 (this pair had put on 95 runs. The next ball was struck firmly back towards him at head height. John in trying to take the difficult chance deflected the ball down onto the stumps, running out the other half of the partnership (32). 

Malcolm announced rather optimistically that the rain (at Blindley Heath) looked like it was clearing up, only to see it then immediately get much heavier, although it could so easily have been awarded to OD for his bemusement with his mobile phone over a pre-match phone call!

John O'D greeted Phil Garrod's wife as Brenda. Although her name is really Karen, Brenda she duly became! Brenda kindly took on the scoring duties (first time ever). The award is for asking the Stockwell players 'Are you all called Patel? Later having difficulty hearing the name of the bowler shouted from the middle, (R. Patel) he was entered in the scorebook as Nigel Patel! 

Tom chased a ball to near the boundary. Gathering the ball he transferred it to his Left Hand and threw a long flat accurate throw to the bowlers end where Steve Penrose had plenty of time to complete the run-out off the surprised Southill Park number three.

Before fielding out in the middle at Blindley Heath, Graveney players were doing some catching practice. A high ball came in Mick's direction who walking backwards was totally unaware of the position of the stumps. A cry went out (too late) 'Mick the stumps'. In taking the catch the stumps passed between his legs and Mick was somewhat surprised and relieved not to have left any part of his anatomy adorning the stumps.

Barry made an excellent rolling stop to parry a ball bound for the boundary.
(He also called the skipper Rob Davies a 'bloody muppet' on three occasions:  -
1. For Rob saying that it was starting to rain (when it was).
2. For Rob saying the showers were cold (when they were absolutely freezing).
3. For forgetting to get Barry some crisps during his round from the bar after the game.

Mick having chased an on-drive to the boundary stopped the ball with a rolling dive but became entangled in the nets of a football goal just beyond the boundary. It took some time for him to extricate himself so the batsmen could have run five but just watched having made two.

John O'D umpiring at square leg gave Richard Hussey run out when the ball had been signalled dead by the other umpire, due to no shot being played.  (Town Malling)

A Norwood batsman who had been peppering the boundary with some big hits, middled a drive through mid-off. Mick diving to his left stopped the ball when it hit him square in the beer-gut.   

After the Woldingham game, Malcolm drives off with the Bowling Award Shield on his car roof! Luckily, he found it clinging to his spoiler when he arrived at home.

Robert had strained his leg whilst batting but managed to bowl three overs for only eight runs. The injury took its toll in the eleven ball fourth over which included 4 wides, several (dubious) no-balls for fast full tosses and a missed chance. Total 16 runs!

Tony stepping outside leg stump hits a good length ball to long-leg for four incorporating a 360 degree turn!

Tony Murphy

Tony's shout from the boundary of 'Good Shot Jezz' was met by a withering stare from the crease by Mick Masters whose shot it was!  

Rob Davies

Rob took a brilliant diving catch but this award was extended to cover the search of Dorking High Street for the Kyber Pass Tandoori after the match. Our directions stated 'Next to Unwins' but as we found out eventually there were two Unwins but not before we had caused a mini-traffic jam.

Dan Tyson-Jones/
Rob Davies

Dan, on his debut sustained a shoulder injury whilst bowling. This became so painful that Dan was unable to control his delivery and sprayed a series of balls in the right general direction but mostly wide. Eventually he had to give up and Rob Davies completed the over for him.

(This is allowable within the rules, if a bowler is unable to continue, another player may complete the over but the 'injured bowler' may not bowl later in the match.)  

Mick Masters/
Dave Chappel

Mick, finally got his timing right and hit a full-blooded on-drive. Dave Chappel backing up was unable to get out of the way and stopped the ball with his boot. What should have been 3 or 4 went down as a dot ball.

Mick Masters
 

Mick, who was smoking a cigarette, was called on to bat. After being dismissed first ball, he returned to the boundary and was able to continue the still smouldering cigarette. (Unfortunately spotted by the skipper)     

Citations of note

Kenny Doyle
2001

Typical of Kenny's Humour was his shout of 'Well Left Bat' when Town Malling's opening bat was bowled out!

Mick Masters
2001

Mark Rance chases up the wicket to take a quick single not noticing Mick had fallen over in the crease. With both players at one end, Mick finally reluctantly ran and completed the single.

Kenny replaced John O’D as wicket keeper for 1 over (J O’D went to the little boys room or so he says). Kenny was a sight to see, no pads on nor a box apparently!

Ended up sprawled on floor with wicket keeper after attempting to drive very wide delivery.

Halted bowler’s run up to ensure safety of dog on boundary. Then smashed ball for 6 to where dog had been.